by TThe contradictions of the Brexit era confuse the comedy. After publicly touting the merits of Northern Ireland’s access to the single market on Tuesday, Rishi Sunak was momentarily so swamped by exciting economic issues that he forgot the ideological implications of his words while Tory advisers chewed their feet backstage. Tory Brexiteer Sunak is now a more enthusiastic EU supporter than Labor retainer Keir Starmer. An unrepentant rest until I die, do I vote Tory now? Was this the secret Tory plan all along?
Brexit has reversed polarities in the minds of Sunak and Starmer. It’s like Face/Off, where John Travolta becomes Nicolas Cage and Nicolas Cage becomes John Travolta but with the exciting martial arts sequences replaced by Sunak, who went to private school and has the personal GDP of a South American dictatorship, the high school student accuses Starmer of his father was a toolmaker, an elite city dweller in north London. Once again.
The Labor leader maintains public opposition to the single market and customs union to keep voters on the side in the so-called red wall. That’s pointless. Let’s face the facts. Discouraged Red Wall voters are drawn to any apparent glimmer of hope. And who can blame them? Starmer might as well try to get a swarm of flies to do a coordinated Red Arrows-style aviation display. Even if he does catch the red wall’s attention for a moment, it only takes another fascist lite from Farage, rolling up with a foaming pint and a pair of Vera Lynn’s stained knickers on a stick, promising all the kingdoms of the earth, and The Rote Wand voters will be eliminated. There! I said it. Rage the damn red wall sods and piss off every bastard who voted for Brexit.
And before you say I’m an elite North London city dweller who never ventures further south than the Islington branch of Watitrose, I’ve just spent 48 hours in Swansea making die-hard Welsh people laugh, despite admittedly being a bag Picked up Waitrose snacks.
And I’m not particularly sorry that the mental health of Brexit’s tough man Steve Baker has suffered as a result of Brexit. Boo! Since the day after the 2016 referendum, I have been on high blood pressure medication that has left me insane and powerless while the lives, futures and careers of dozens of people I know have been ruined forever. where is my tv story They should put Baker in a birdcage wearing Tom Waits glasses like Renfield in them Dracula, and let him eat flies. Hopefully he’s well enough to continue denying the climate crisis with his Net Zero Watch group, because it’s important that we take a balanced view of inevitable extinction from a depressed man who believes God is speaking to him on high all life on earth hear Wycombe.
And I’m glad Sarah Vine has lost friends to Brexit, as she lamented in her recent column in the Daily Mail, a paper that only exists to make nice people want to end their lives. I also lost friends to her Brexit. We all have. The difference is that the friends I lost were Brexiteers and were therefore either easily led or nasty, so not worth knowing, while Vine will have evicted the few decent people around her. She is making Brexit her social life as our economies are being overtaken by those of European countries whose citizens used to come here for a better life and some nice coaches. You should’ve just blown the damn doors off! Remember?
The contradictions continue. Stupid Brexiteer Michael Gove attended a secret summit with savvy remainders to resolve Brexit in the national interest. Gove, a sentient but vicious dong with the lips of a halibut and the eyes of a Philippine tarsier, got what he wanted – Brexit. But now he’s seeking the help of smart people who said it wouldn’t work anyway to try and make it work anyway. Explain this to your kids who are wondering what happened to all that lettuce. And their future prospects.
Last week, the Tarsier-eyed dong enabled a new peak in Conservative contradictions by saying parents whose children are not in regular school should stop child support. Covid kids just endured two years of hell in isolation, missed milestones, splintered friendship groups. The first time I went out after lockdown as a grown man – to a cautious afternoon party in a garden – I couldn’t tell one voice from the other, a barking dog burned in my brain and I wondered how we used to deal with crowds became . I still do Imagine you are 11 years old and after two years you are pushed indoors in the crowded school corridors. And imagine being a parent who asks for help and, thanks to 13 years of Tory neglect, finds that you have to wait two years for counseling on your child’s mental health. Connect the dots, walk or shut up. Redeem yourself!
Ironically, in 2017 the Conservatives ruled that families with more than two children should not receive extra child support. But children are expensive. Boris Johnson has at least seven and has found it difficult to make ends meet on his Prime Minister’s £164,951 salary. Tory donor and banker Richard Sharp arranged an £800,000 loan to help him out. Sharp didn’t reveal this when interviewed for the role of BBC chairman, who has an annual salary of £160,000. Sharp is a former director of the Tufton Street think tanks Center for Policy Studies, which campaigns for the abolition of license fees and claims the BBC is biased. Of course, the average parent of more than two children cannot offer a man interested in dismantling the BBC the chair of the BBC as leverage to set them straight with a few pounds. Everyone has to go. Now. We’re done here.
Reason Lee Tour dates are here including six performances at the Royal Festival Hall, London in June and July
